ah -the new month

Now I get the feeling that all the holidays are only here to momentarily capture our attention -that after they are gone, they are actually gone forever.  We can pretend that there is next Christmas, or next New Year, but it isn't really true.  

In a few years they will all be gone.  And then even memory is gone.  As will be any ambition, any will, any and all enthrallment, all desire, all vision, all comradeship, all friendship, all stars and moon, all the beautiful sunrises, all silly inventions.

What a thing…and of course no one talks about it, gosh what is there to say?  I mean it is just a total absence.  It does make me glad I have made some of these paintings, it means that someone will know that a certain object was made, created for them to see.

And no one will have any concept of pretty or ugly…just their own prejudices, and these will lead them there and then over there…yet one or two may come across one of these, and maybe, like my dad used to do, that person will paint over the whole thing, and where trees existed and plants, that person, like my father, will leave only dirt and bare branches…

And to be honest, I liked those paintings he did…all fences and the plants behind them were gone.  All he left was beautiful desolation and death…though I always felt there were tiny livings things hidden in each painting, even if only behind the new paint...

God what a sunrise we had this morning.  The entire sky was aflame, and the water which was alive with small waves on every particle and all had turned to melted silver and aluminum.