my name

I always have to practice writing my name on sheets of paper before I sign anything, because if I don’t I won’t spell it right, or I’ll barge ahead and use a name that isn’t mine.

And in fact I never use my first name, because I simply cannot spell it correctly. Of course I do know how to spell it …but when I go to spell it, it just comes out wrong.

And when somebody asks my name, I am embarrassed, and I have to think, What is the name my parents have always used for me, what is that word?

In fact, when I meet people, I often feel the first name is false, it seems like a disguise, a sort of Halloween name they have put on to fool me, or a false identity. Not always though. Some of the names are right, I know they are, that is the person, that is their name, just like that.

So if you or some friend of yours knows my first name, please tell me.