they are too considered

I was looking at a couple of postcards I got in the mail...there was interesting art on the front of them -though after a few minutes I thought they are too finished for me.  I keep feeling that the whole process needs to be sloppier, less considered more revelatory of the process...

I want to be able to see the tools in the painting, I want the thing to look crummier, I even want the images to be less choice...-though why I want this I can't say.  I'm not really sure sure what this is about.

Well I'm done about now at least for today.  These are all 22X30 things.  I don't even know why I do them at all.  What's the point I guess.  Who do I expect to see them at all?  Someone asked me if I ever paint figures in my stuff.  I answered with the old quote about not wanting people to see a figure and then go, -okay let's move on...but actually I wanted more to say, can't you see them? ...they seem to always be there ruining everything I try to achieve,  climbing in unwanted and unneeded,  jumping up and down and yelling -look at me!

This last one is painted on an old map of Louisiana, I mean part of it.  It doesn't seem to be very successful, not to me at least.  -But I try to photograph everything I keep.  It just seems fair.   But fair to who?  and why fair?  I don't know. I just don't know.