I think it just impossible

So it is really impossible to paint pictures to reflect some external conditions like politics or socio-economic anythings.  Because I really don't know anything about them nor do I care about them.

All I care about is trying to make pictures.  Whatever those are.  That I don't know anything about either.  I just try to make pictures that are of something that I cannot quite think of.  I can't put my finger on it.

But it seems so close.  It feels so real.  And every so often I make a picture that I think is about this thing.  And I stare at it over and again, trying to understand it.

I really started painting right after college.  Though I certainly don't know why or what I was doing.  But I remember Laura Miner was there.  She had just got back from the Sorbonne where she got her MFA.  I was worried that all my painting looked like junk.  Scribbles that didn't match.  And still think the same thing.

But Laura was there and she looked at all my paintings and said how they immediately were identifiable as one person's work.  Well I thought well I'm glad for that.  Now of course I wish other things for my paintings.

I rather wish they could move someone somehow.  I don't know why though.  That really does seem like an odd thing.  Maybe I wish it were me they could touch.